A Letter For You

To My Dear Tropic Bear,

As you come to this hour of day, I'm so proud of you! You have made it a whole twelve hours without me :D *huggies* And so did I, where's my hugs? :P

I can survive with not seeing you but not talking to you??? Ohh I just found a way to commit suicide. Ahhh I'm so nervous I don't know what I'm talking about.

Okay, lets get straight to the point. As I'm writing this, I'll share with you my feelings before I depart.
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22/9/09:

It's three days before my departure, making our distance even further. Today, I dreamt about receiving a letter that you said someone told me we aren't gonna make through due to the 8 hours difference of time zone but you told me it's not gonna be so. I wonder how are we gonna be like later on? Will I still get to talk to you often? I remember the day when you left, when I waved goodbye to you in the airport, I thought our chats were gonna reduce but I'm so grateful it didn't. In fact, we got closer to each other. I hope we will too after I have left.

I also read a star today about us rushing from Mid Valley. You said you smile just thinking of that. Dear, did you know, when you held my hand running and reassuring me that we will make it there on time, I thought to myself 'if we could make it through this, we will make it through anything.' I don't know why I had that thought but I still believe so till now.

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23/9/09

Two days left. I went out with my friends for a farewell. I came back being hyper and you were happy seeing me that way :) The farewell was in a familiar place where we both dated before. Seeing the places reminded me so much of you. Absence really do make the heart grows fonder.

Later in the night, I felt very sensitive about something you said. I know it was just me being extra sensitive and emo but you being you would always know how to comfort me and never blame me for feeling that way. You are such an understanding and sweet guy, my dear. If there's one thing on earth that I cannot afford to lose, it's definitely you.

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24/9/09

One day left to leave you even further away. Frankly, talking to you so much made me only sink into reality today that I'm really leaving, leaving to a place where there will be 8 hours of difference in time. I wonder how do you feel now dear? You seem to be happy that I can finally go out there and see the world.

One more day, dear. Yet, it would be a step closer to the moment where I can see you again. I'll always look forward to the time when we could meet each other again. You once said it was worth waiting for it and I know what that really means now.

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I hope you don't find this post earlier. As this post was really meant for you to read when I'm not around for you to chat with. Hope you would have a good day tomorrow when I depart. Do know that even when I'm not talking to you, my mind still thinks of you and my heart still longs for you. I love you with all my heart.

*hugs and kisses*

From Your Baby Doggie.

Busy Doggie Running Around

Doggie has been rather busy lately, so tropic bear is playing the role of being a good companion waiting for doggie. It is understandable that doggie has been so busy with doggie swimming cross the ocean to a brand new place next week. For the following week, doggie will be even busier with all the packing and stuff. But tropic bear can wait :)

Too bad tropic bear can only stay in the tropics, if not he would have followed doggie across the ocean. Hence, tropic bear gives doggie a hug and kiss to bring across the sea <3


From Tropic Bear,
*Hug + Kiss*

A Short Commercial Break =)

Tropic Bear: I would always give you chocolates.. but you give me something more.. hope :)

I like this line. But I'm afraid I interpret it wrongly. Like maybe he means I give him hope that there are girls like me out there? (like the way how he gave me hope) But I hope not! I want to be The One >_< How impossible.. But I'll just appreciate what we have now..

-Copied from Doggie's Diary dated 12/6/2009-

Doggie meets Tropic Bear on 4/9 (2)

After breakfast, we headed to Tropic Bear's brother's house to take a break. I met Tropic Bear's brother. I said 'Hi!' very cheerfully with my hand-waving action! His brother looked as if he was suppressing his smile that says that I looked childish. Okay, maybe I was thinking too much.

We rested a while and then headed off to meet someone together! I can't mention who this guy is but he's one of people that indirecty brings Tropic Bear and Doggie together, so it felt like an amazing moment!

We took public transport together. Having Tropic Bear's hand in mine makes me feel safe and secure even though I rarely take public transport. It felt like Tropic Bear is all that I need to keep my world safe.

I was late for the appointment :( Earlier on, Tropic Bear kept reassuring me that we won't be late. So it's Tropic Bear's fault xD

Thankfully, he (the person, not Tropic Bear) didn't mind much about it. We had a very inspiring chat. I was very impressed in fact! I asked Tropic Bear what he thought and he said 'ohhh quite good but not to the level of being impressive' nonchalantly. And then I kept convincing him it was impressive.

We then headed back to his brother's house again and took a break before getting lunch. An incident occured in which Tropic Bear forced me to do something I didn't want. I felt he didn't respect my decision. He promised he will never do so again and felt so guilty. I forgave him at that point.

However, after we bought lunch (the lunch was so late it became dinner), I didn't feel alright after recalling the incident. I couldn't get over it. I cried while he was driving and several times, he said he wanted to stop the car at the side on the highway to discuss about it. It was the first time Tropic Bear saw me crying.

At that time, I couldn't convince myself that it was alright he broke his promise because I have trusted him all this while. Did that mean he will break his other promises as well? And also, I realised that even though so, I forgave him because I love him but that doesn't mean I'm over it. I also felt bad for feeling that way again because we seemed to have resolve the issue earlier on..

Tropic Bear looked so scary to me when he said 'so have you forgiven me?' with his frustrated tone.

I later on fell asleep in the car, woke up to realise that I was covered by a jacket. We have not reached our destination because there was a massive trafic jam.

Tropic Bear hasn't eaten till this point. Poor bear..

We reached the mall and I was having stomach pain (probably gastric). Tropic Bear bought me a hot chocolate and we sat down to talk in the cafe. We had a very good heart-to-heart talk about the incident. Tropic Bear held my hands when he talked. He said he didn't want to be remembered this way and hopefully we will have a good day tomorrow.

Lunch was dinner, so we skipped a meal! We went to the hotel later on and Tropic Bear bought us cakes as supper. We bathed then chatted on the bed while eating our delicious cakes xD We stayed up a little later on and went to sleep to start a brand new day tomorrow.

PS: It was also today we crossed the line that we drew the previous time.

Tropic Bear Meets Doggie on 4/9 (1)

3 days ago tropic bear went on an adventure to meet doggie! A week before meeting doggie he already was very excited and bugged doggie about their weekend plans everyday. So on Thursday night, he flew from one country to another just so he could see her.

When he was stuck in the airport, he managed to steal internet and turn on msn :) Even though tropic bear was meeting doggie in a few hours, he just couldn't resist talking to doggie again. They talked for a while but doggie was about to leave home for her big day !

Tropic bear missed doggie so dearly, he woke up almost 2 hours before the time they were supposed to meet. He bathed and groomed himself, hopefully to impress doggie this time around. He actually left for doggie's place an hour early and called her several times but there was no response.

Anxiety started worrying tropic bear, what if doggie overslept by 2 hours ? What could he do to wake her up ? Lucky for him doggie called him just a few minutes late and things went smoothly after that <3

When first seeing doggie, tropic bear was feeling so much emotions. Try understanding how seeing the doggie you love so much almost everyday but not being able to hug it, touch it or feel it. The moment tropic bear saw doggie, all the emotions came back and reminded him of how doggie changed his life half a year ago <3 <3

We shall resume this post when tropic bear is in a better state of mind. Due to sleep deprivation and a possible Bear Flu, tropic bear will resume when he doesn't feel so sick xD

Tropic Bear,
Rawr!

Doggie meets Tropic Bear on 4/9 (1)

Because I believe every moment spent with Tropic Bear is a memorable moment, hence I'll blog about every bit of them! :)

The day started with Tropic Bear flying from one country to my country and later picked me up at my place. Not having a good sleep beforehand, I overslept (luckily not a lot!). When he called, I quickly rushed to get myself ready to meet him.

I find it quite funny because I was so excited to meet him (you know counting down the hours) and I actually missed the timing by a few minutes ><

He spammed my sms inbox beforehand. The sms that I remembered most was 'ahhh so excited to see you!! :D traffic jam here =.='

The first minute when I saw tropic bear, he was sitting on the same place where we used to have our chats. Have you felt like you don't know what to feel? I felt that way because it felt so unreal to see Tropic Bear in front of me. For all the time, we haven't been meeting often and seeing him most of the times were on video calls. When he was there, it felt very much like seeing your movie superstar jumping out of the screen.

We later on went for breakfast. Trying to figure out GPS could sometimes be so annoying. We couldn't find the place and we were both hungry. Hence, we went to a nearby restaurant.

Tropic Bear asked the waiter whether the soft-boiled eggs that is in the menu set can be changed to hard-boiled ones. How cute <3 I watched as the waiter shaked his head.

I can't exactly remember how breakfast went on. As I recall the morning, I don't know why everything seems so blur in memory. Maybe I should get some sleep now. I'll continue the day some other time! :)

Together Forever?

My Dear Tropic Bear,

In just a matter of hours, you will be reaching soon. Let me tell you something frankly okie?

I'm afraid :(

I'm afraid that we will not be 'together forever' due to the distance :(

Sigh. Distance doesn't scare me. It's the thought of not being with you. I never had that fear as much because.. I never really care whether I was together forever with others or not.

But this is different. It's you, my dear. And I really hope so.

I read M's blog about how she broke up with her boyfriend of four years whom she thought she was gonna marry some day. They didn't make it through.

Will we, dear? I know you placed 100% faith in this. I know how you feel about me. Sometimes, when I said I'm amazed how much love you have for me, I really do because deep inside my heart, I have the same amount for you too.

I sometimes wonder why based on these few months, we are already so certain of each other. But the joy with you is just so indescribable, like nothing else in the world matters except you. Will we still feel the same way, say five years down the road? Will we?

Okay. Let's talk about happy stuff! You are coming to my place in a couple of hours time. I can't waittttt :D :D :D

It's gonna be a good day tomorrow <3

Love you very muchie,
Doggie

Worried

Tropic bear always seems to worry about doggie.

He worries when you wake up at 5.30 in the morning and text messages him.
He worries when you calls him at 6.30 and tells him you have a headache and feel like vomiting.
He worries that you will sometimes feel alone in London.
He worries when you don't reply his messages for more than an hour.

Sometimes when he worries he doesn't let you know.
Sometimes he also worries about the times he can't be there for you.

Then again tropic bear cares about you more than you can imagine.
When he's worried nothing seems to matter and he puts everything on his hand down just to make sure doggie is perfectly fine.

It hurts him to know that you aren't fine most of the time.
He would rather be in your place than let you shoulder the burden alone.

Tropic Bear just can't stop loving and worrying about you.