:)

I'm gonna send you a letter for you to read on the plane but promise me don't read in advance kay kay? :)

Sorry if the letter seems bad but I didn't really have time to write it properly due to exams

I love you, dear

Give me that courage.

Dear Tropic Bear,

Ever since you said that you want to break up and I have convinced you to stay on, there's still that sense of fear and insecurity lingering in my heart. I worry too much, but it's all for you, my dear. Never have I felt this way before.

I don't know where I got the courage to ask you to hold on. Since then, I had a lot of fear like..

What if we can't get through this?

What if you no longer feel that way for me anymore?

You told me not to worry too much... but I can't.. I love you too much to lose you. Never have I thought I could feel so deeply for someone.

And now, I need that courage to go on. I really hope we make it through. I really hope things will be just like before.

I really hope to be the last person you would ever love in this lifetime.

Love you more than ever,

Doggie.

Happy 20th Birthday My Dear! :)

When it was my birthday, you made me feel like it was the only birthday I ever wanted.
Now that it's yours I hope it feels just as special and equally happy to you, from me.
As a lover, I would try to please you and give you what you wanted.
But as a boyfriend, what I give are things that you lack, things that you need.
Right now what you need is a birthday where there are people around you. Celebrating your 20th birthday all around you.

You have had roses.
Also ate chocolates.
Hugged a stuffed dog too.
But what I gave, even though I'm not around,
will make sure that on this very day you will at least smile :)

I hope you will like it.
Though it cannot be kept.
But someday when you think back,
in your mind this thought from me will most certainly be well kept! <3

Love you darling,
Happy Birthday to you again <3

Growing old :)

Today, when I was in the bus, I saw an old couple. And by old, I mean that they are probably in their seventies, having loads of white hair and wrinkled face. They could be heading somewhere since the man was having a luggage with him.

It then came to me that being with someone and subsequently saying yes to having a lifetime with him/her would mean growing old with this person. It means still loving that person, willing to stick to him/her regardless of what he/she has become. After all, when beauty fades away, when one becomes all wrinkley, when the energy and enthusiasm has all been sucked out due to old age, what's left is what's within.

And love helps us to see what's within when everything on the outer has faded away.

Now, who said love is blind? Maybe love has that extra pair of eyes that we just didn't know.

Topic Bear Is Asleep

No Tropic Bear to talk to before bed for the second consecutive night. :(

Absence Makes The Heart Fonder

Dear Doggie,

It has been a very difficult week for me, my hard disk crashed and I lost our memories. The adventure book that was intended for you, with all the little notes you gave me when missing :'(
How I wish those 2 items would come back...

Now when you are in camp, I don't have photos of you to keep me company. When you are busy with activities, there no longer are little notes for me to paste in your adventure book. Worst of all, the little memories of our chat conversations, which i treasure most are no longer with me. T_T

If there is one thing that comforts me, it's the thought of you telling me we'll make new ones. That i'm very sure of too. But those memories mean a lot to me dear, because when you are at camp they always keep me company. The crazy pictures, of a little doggie <3

I love you doggie, more than you can imagine. Never have I felt this way before. And never will anyone make me feel love the same way again.

After all, you are the last person I'll be loving this lifetime.

Mishheee you dear <3

Tropic Bear, Rawr!
Because he misses you :'(

Happy 7 Months Together, My Dear

Dear Tropic Bear,

As I'm typing this, there's only an hour more (in my time zone) to us being 7 months together while you are still asleep since it's 7 am for you.

It's 7 months together, my dear. Seven freaking months. It seems so little at the same time it seems so much. It felt little because I could still vividly remember our first month together. You called me a day earlier by mistake. I could still remember that grin that glowed in you when we succeeded going through one month because you proved to me one month of long distance relationship was possible.

At the same time, it seems so much as we have been through so much things together. From being tickled by fishes in fish spa to ice-skating together, we have had so much beautiful memories.

It's seven months already, dear. Having you seems to be growing in me already. My feelings towards you have changed since we got together. There was something extra incorporated in our relationship now. You have become like air to me. Having you everyday has becoming something like a habit. The morning talks have become a routine in our relationship. I'm sure you agree on this. Telling each other about our day is something I already know that will happen everyday.

It's just like air.. it's there everyday.. Just like you. You would always be there for me.

And I know, just like air, if I would one day lose you, it would hurt so much I would feel like killing myself.

That's why no matter how tired I am, I learnt that there will still be a part of me that longs to talk to you, even though I could just be too tired to talk to you. Maybe it was for a reason. Maybe it was for a million of reasons. Maybe it's just plainly because I want to hear your voice before I head to bed.

Crap, I'm crying right now. How silly of me.

Deep down, I know that I miss you more than I can ever imagine. That is why I avoid thinking about our memories, avoid looking at our photos etc. Handling the feeling of missing you while not talking is bad enough, what's more while you are not even here.

I hope all these sacrifices will prove worth it in the end.

You said I thought you how to love someone. My dear, you taught me how to love someone so deeply too.

You taught me how to be a better person. You are the big brother, the boyfriend, the best friend, the teacher etc. You are everything to me.

Thank you for your love, my darling. Happy 7 months together and more to come!

PS. I Love You

Love Loads,

Doggie

LDR

We were not in good terms on the phone. I was being mad at you. You were being frustrated over me not being happy.

I wish I could release you from the burden of being in a long distance relationship. I love you so much. Knowing that you have to balance between me and your studies hurts me. Knowing that I can get pretty emotional and you may not be able to handle it. Knowing that it would take you so much efforts to pursue this.

You suggested for a break now.

Maybe it's time to think about it again.

Apologies

Dear Tropic Bear,

I'm sorry for not remembering the time of our talk session. It slipped my mind. I have so many reasons yet I know none of them can justify of my poor memory.

It hurts right to the core of the heart when you said 'like that also can forget'.

I'm sorry, dear.. :'(

Doggie

I Found This On A Microsoft Word Doc Dated 17/11/09 :)

I Love You

(My Name)

<3

From your dearest Boyfriend (Your Name) J

More smileys :D :D

*huggies*

PS: Bet you forgot about this too! :)

*Huggies*

It has been 3 days since you left for London and now everything starts all over again. The letters, the midnight calls and the time difference waiting for you to wake up <3

The reason why yesterday I asked you to join your friends to play games instead of talking wasn't because I didn't miss you. In fact I missed you more than ever, especially being alone in the room. But I knew that you needed to join your friends to feel less lonely. Remember in UM when tropic bear was having orientation, you joined loads of activities to keep yourself occupied for the first few weeks.

I want that for doggie too, to be able to go out with your friends and have fun. I don't want to hold you back keeping you in tears just for me. Hopefully in time you won't feel so much pain every time you think of me but still hold on tight to those memories of you and me.

*hugs* Wish you were here beside me too, but I know that won't be true for at least the next few months. But I'll wait for you I promise you doggie <3

Love,
Tropic Bear <3

I wish I'm just beside you seeing you asleep now..

It Has Been Six Months, My Dear

Dear Tropic Bear,

As I'm typing this, you are now driving home (not speeding, I hope).

Thank you for today and the past six months. It has been truly wonderful to spend my time with you. All those doubt and hesitation I had when you first took my hand have proven themselves to be worthless as every moment spend with you is a beautiful moment.

Sometimes I do wonder whether we will last in the future. The future seems full of hope if we continue to make efforts to see each other and value our time with each other just like what we do now.

Thank you for all your love and care. It feels great to be loved and to love. To put it in your words, 'it feels so nice to be sayang-ed'.

Frankly, my stomach ache today put me in fear that I will ruin my date with you today. What if we don't enjoy ourselves at the end? What if you coming all the way from home is wasted? At one point, I felt really bad and wanted to go home, so that I wouldn't ruin the day further.

But then you were so caring and loving that I can't bring myself to do that. So I told myself, since I'm here already, I might as well not care anymore and just go with the flow.

True enough, every moment spent with you is special regardless of what we do or whether we planned them anot. Just me sitting on your lap talking about your friends on facebook, just us opening each other's present when the rain was pouring heavily outside, just us shopping for your clothes etc seems to be enjoyable somehow.

Perhaps this is love. Love makes everything enjoyable between two people regardless of what they do. Love makes the suffer and torture (of stomach pain in this case :P) more bearable.

Thank you for everything, my dear. I look forward to spending my future decades with you.

Yours truly,

Doggie

X'mas & A Day Away From 6 Months

Hi Doggie,

I'm writing this while watching you fall asleep, it's been 1 day till 6 months since your cute head lie on my shoulder on the bench :) and i still enjoy seeing you go to bed whenever the opportunity allows me to!

Ahh how time flies in the past half a year, 2009 comes to an end and this marks the halfway flag of to our anniversary <3 Everyday I ask myself whether this is the relationship I want to be in, and everyday I get the same answer. I Love You Doggie.

Hopefully some day we can be together everyday under the same roof, looking out for each other, sharing hugs and kisses. But for the moment, I'm just contented to be with this special girl that I really think I love very much. Shhh... don't tell anyone but i really really really think that i love this girl alot <3 Hopefully she doesn't hear this :P

*Huggies* Merry X'mas

And Half an Anniversary too! <3 <3

*kisses*
From Tropic Bear =)

Long Distance Relationship <3

Today, I heard a girl talking about relationship.

'Long distance relationship is so torturing. You feel like breaking up but you can't because you still love him. If you don't break up, you feel tortured because he's so far away.'

And then, I realised I can't relate to her experience though I'm having a long distance relationship as well. Never did I feel tortured (perhaps only lately due to the overwhelming feelings since meeting Tropic Bear is only one week away T_T - emoticon of the growth of the missing feeling, not sadness).

Tropic Bear must be the reason why this is so. He was always a call away. He was always there for me. Never did I feel alone.

I hope this feeling lasts. It has lasted for 3 months after all.

<3

Digressing. Here's my comment on a blogger's negative view about love:

Frankly, I had a very bad experience too. My ex was one moment cold one moment hot. He was like a typical example for your blog post. After I broke up with him, I was so hurt and thought that guys were all like that as well as you said.

But then, he came along. Unexpectedly. He wasn't anything like you said. He remembers every memory we hold, every moment we had. He cares, he cherishes, he appreciates.

This sounds so impossible but he himself was a rationalist who sneered at other relationships until he met me. And I was disappointed and dejected in relationships until I met him again.

I believe that love comes along unexpectedly. There will be one guy out there who comes along in your life whom you will willingly give up any guys to settle with ONE guy.

From, Doggie

Tropic Bear Can't Wait! <3

Hi Doggie,

5 more days I keep telling myself, 5 more days.

As the day approaches, time seems to past slower. Haven't had more than 5 hours of continuous sleep since I cme back. Sowee for being busy with all the gatherings too. But I'll make it up by not sleeping at night for you Doggie :)

Waiting for you to be back still :D

And by that I mean both after your dinner and also back in my arms <3 <3

Tropic Bear,
Jump Jump Jump :P

Doggie Had A Long Day

Hi! :) I had such a long Monday today. It's 11pm now and I feel like heading to bed but I can't sleep now! I must finish my work so that I have time to talk to Tropic Bear tomorrow!

Ganbatte ganbatte *motivates self*

From, Doggie

I'm Really Sorry :(

Dear Doggie,

I'm sorry. Period.

No excuse for how I forgot or woke up but dozed off again. The main point was i made a mistake and I should take responsibility. Forgiveness won't come easily and I understand that but hopefully I'll be able to make it up to you because even the thought of losing you is too hard to bare.

The trust you place on me is more than you have ever trusted anyone else, and for that I appreciate it. I'm the guy you want to be looking after you and not disappointing you. I hope you can forgive me for my mistakes and more importantly I'll learn from them. Each time I hurt you, I still remember deep down in my heart not to commit the same mistake again. Because it feels equally painful seeing you cry my dear :'(

From the first time I hurt you in UM, when I tried hurrying you. Till today, the incident is fresh in my mind hoping to avoid making the same mistake again. I don't hurry you anymore because I know you don't like it. The last time we met, I made an even bigger mistake of losing myself. That, till now I don't forgive myself. I wish I could turn back time to change things, but then again it is impossible.

Across the years, I'll make mistakes big and small, but when I do please tell me dear. Because I want to be a better guy for you. The one that knows what to do in every situation to turn a sad face into a smiley one. To make you happier on so many occasions that you don't remember the sad ones. I hope to learn from what I have done wrong and change.

I make mistakes too dear, but I'll keep changing just for you.
Please forgive me.

Love,
A Very Sorry Tropic Bear.

P.s. I'll call you when I settle down at about after your lunch time dear. Don't worry I'll keep you updated constantly <3

Hi! :)

Suddenly felt that there was nothing to do after all those busy days. There are work but I didn't want to start anything new because it will be half done before I go to bed in half an hour's time and I'm quite tired to do anything anyway and...

*tries to find more excuses*

Just thought I would update this blog! :) I love tropic bear! :)

And I'm missing him right now.

How do you feel when you met someone who knows you inside out, who knows your every laughter, who can tell you are sad from your tone etc?

How would you describe it?

Because that's exactly how I feel.

Regards,

Doggie

Love, Is Priceless

My dear doggie,

It's been 5 months now and today I was reminded of how beautiful our relationship is. A dream, albeit a short and brief one tells me of how much love you have for me. As time goes by, I have come to appreciate how much this relationship means to me.

As time passes, things I used to overlook now seem so much more clear to me. Nowadays, I appreciate the things you do for me even though it's the smallest thing. I'm truly sure that I have found the right one, the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's you doggie, that makes me so sure of this relationship.

That makes me so sure of the one choice in my life that has truly no regrets.

Maybe as time passes, I'll realize more of you my dear that makes me love you even more. But at the moment, if I were to rate how much love i have for you, I wouldn't.

After all,

Love
Is Priceless

Your Fuzzy Tropic Bear :)